The all new, awe-inspiring iPad!

Ok, everyone has been going on about the latest is Apple super-technology so I figured I had to. First off, does anyone really understand what's different about it? When i heard the name "iPad" I though wow, Steve Jobs is now using his technology to help people with uncontrollable bladders, what the hell is he going to come up with next! I was sadly mistaken though.

The new iPad isn't actually a revolutionary way to prevent bed-wetting, but in a fact a product for the people who begged for an obnoxiously bigger iPhone that just couldn't make phone calls. It's brilliant!

I was watching a guided tour on this new gadget and it said that this was a great product because "it adapts to how you want to use it." Though, it turns off when upside down, so I don't know how me and Batman would continue our Facebook poke wars hanging by our feet from the ceiling like us Superhero bats usually do.

It also says that it makes the web more "intimate and fun," so to all you computer spouses that have been having relationship problems with your internet, I introduce you to the iPad, the first ever technological viagra! Making your web-browsing a more pleasurable experience one obsessive computer nerd at a time.

Honestly, I don't know what to think of this new product. It looks like an Apple employee was manufacturing a laptop and in the midst said, "fuck it, I was going to get fired this week anyway, what's the point. " Maybe I'm wrong, but this is an idea that truly does seem pointless.